Hampton trip...

So i just realized that i never even told you guys about what happened in Hampton! I'm not sure how this one got missed...

Well basically what happened is C and i signed up to volunteer at the spartan race up in Amesbury sometime in august. We got stuck in a ton of traffic on the way up and by the time we got to park we were beyond late for our assignment. There was a huge screw up on the spartan race's park by lack of direction with the volunteers and then we had decided to head up to hampton and make it a beach day and then go back the following day to help break everything down.

We really had an amazing day just hanging out by the water, laying back and relaxing. We ended the day buying some fireworks and setting them off by the beach. Before we left to head back on the 90 minute drive home, we decided to stop and get something to eat. 

I saw a place i have been before and decided it was a good idea to stop there. We stopped at Ceal's clam shack. (Now mind you i have learned now that it is never a smart idea to eat at a shack/stand with food intolerances and allergies but unfortunately this lesson i had to apparently learn the hard way.) I almost squealed with excitement when i saw a little sign that said that they had Udi's gluten free rolls. When i went to order i told the woman i was allergic to gluten and she seemed to understand and put in our order. 

I was so excited that i even took a picture.. oh the irony

My plain hamburger on a udi's roll popped out of the other order window a few minutes later and i woofed that thing down like i haven't eaten in days. Within about five minutes my stomach started to get really upset. I knew something wasn't right...

So C started driving us back and i could feel my stomach starting to wrench and twist around. WHICH FEELS AWESOME. This was seriously the worst episode i have had in the past year by far. I was sitting in his car and with each passing moment i could feel myself getting more and more sick.

Sweating, fevering from hot to cold, hot to cold.

Feeling my stomach twist and turn.

And to be honest and a tad graphic i didn't know if i was going to straight up shit myself or throw up.

The poor guy kept asking if he needed to pull over. No no...

Now keep in mind we were still doing that hang out dating sort of thing then. And lets get real no one ever wants to go into explicit detail of what their body does to "evacuate" food when you are intolerant/allergic to it.

Anyways i don't really remember much except for sitting in his car crying with my hand over my face and repeatedly apologizing for having that happen and being completely mortified. We finally got to my house and i was completely delirious at this point. Rushed into the house and pretty sure i told him i would grab all of my stuff later.

C being the super nice guy that he is sent me a text shortly after making sure that i was okay.  A few weeks after this thats when he told me that was the day that he knew he really cared about me.

Needless to say i did not end up returning the following day. I was feeling the effects for about ten days after it happened. Sick to my stomach for the following three and bloating  weight gain and brain fog for the rest.

I followed up by calling the restaurant and letting them know what had happened. I wasn't mad (although i had every right to) i was more concerned that someone with a more severe allergy could have landed in the hospital. The manager was very kind and assured me that she would be re-educating her employees on food safety. 


Moral of the story/lessons learned:

1. NEVER EAT FROM A CLAM SHACK AGAIN

2. C is a keeper.

3.Finding places to eat out is becoming increasingly impossible with my ever growing food intolerances.

4. If at any time you are not sure about the safety of your food DO NOT hesitate to talk to the waitress, manager or chef.

I was feeling pretty good during the day and made this little thing in the sand. looks pretty neat eh?

7.1.13

HAPPY JULY!

Hello Everyone! 

So we are now officially in the summer and with only a few days before the 4th of July its pretty cool to see the progress over the past weeks. So above is a photo i took of myself the other day when i was bored on the train. I realized that this whole process has made me completely obsessed with taking selfies. Obnoxious i know.. but it is all for a purpose! Like i mentioned earlier my face shows my weight a ton so its cool to see how that among other things in and on my body are changing! So i know lately i've been in a little bit of a slump and i'm not really sure what to attribute that to but i'm feeling a little bit more optimistic now and excited to be able to look back on this from the end of the summer and just be happy.

So officially 172 now WHICH IS CRAZZAAYYY. That's only one pound off of being 25 pounds down and two pounds away from my goal of being 170 for the 4th of July. 

So with the summer months upon us i find that my hankering for ice cream has sadly not gotten any easier BUT i did find a pretty cool alternative! So i read from some paleo sites that they like to make "ice cream" from pulverizing frozen bananas and putting in add ins like walnuts, dairy free chocolate chips, peanut butter or shredded coconut! Yumm. I am yet to take a picture of when i make it because it eat it so darn fast but i will soon.

In the mean time check out this blog for yummy paleo recipes to keep your tummy and body happy and healthy!

Obnoxious selfie for you to enjoy until my next post :)

Balance

More and more i am realizing that there is a theme in my life. 

Balance. 

Its all about Balance. 

I find that this time of the year is when i struggle the most with finding a perfect middle in all aspects of my life. 

love

family

friends

work

education

health

happiness

I find the delicate scale tip to one extreme or another and i'm constantly trying to pick things up.

See that list? Rule of thumb pick two or three that will go great and the rest will go to shit.

Mark Twain once said 

"What is joy without sorrow? What is success without failure? What is a win without a loss? What is health without illness? You have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. There is always going to be suffering. It's how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you."

Or more simply put by the swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung: 

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

Changing who you learned to be is very difficult. Every night i reflect on my days events and wake up trying to be a better person, to do better things and to try and help others along the way. Trying to become a more conscientious, aware and understanding person takes a lot of work when you are raised by someone so selfish and arrogant. I just hope that i can use my life that was given to me to give back to others and to not judge while i'm here on earth but to help others who need it. 

Recently i have had to deal with events that have happened in my past. Probing through your experiences from the worst times of your life doesn't really put you in the best mindset and just really makes you think about how you live your life. It makes me think a lot about the time i have left and if i'm using my time wisely. 

A few weeks ago a dear friend of mine committed suicide. He was an extremely gifted and talented musician who suffered from schizoaffective disorders as well as bipolar disorder. His death has weighed heavy on my mind and is a constant reminder of how delicate and precious life is. Although i hadn't talked to him in the months before his passing i did consider him a good friend. It just reminds me that there are people suffering and battling wars in their lives that you may not see or even hear about until its too late. This serves to me as a reminder to keep the people who have been supportive and kind to me close in my life. Life is too short to worry about the what ifs or what should have beens. 

It has been a rough couple of months with constant set backs and loads of stress but things can always be worse and i am very grateful to be able to have another day above the ground. 

Be thankful for who you have in your life. 
Hug those who are close to you.
Say whats on your mind.
Spread love and forgiveness.

Just working through everything day by day. Hoping things get better.