What is means to be "Sick"

So i feel like i have gotten a lot of grief from my own family as well as other people when trying to explain my condition and my pain.

I want to emphasize that just because someone does not physically see my pain it does not make it any less real.

Now let me explain to you what it feels like when i eat bread. I would say if i were to eat that devilishly delicious piece of french baguette that comes with my meal at Panera. Within ten minutes i would be clutching my stomach, rolled up in a ball on the ground and most likely cursing out whoever is closest for letting me eat that. Its like period cramps on steroids (its on both the sides of my abdomen and not centralized) and comes in waves of pain while its oh so slowly being digested. mhmmm sounds like my kind of party right? Completely worth it...sometimes :/

For five years before my diagnosis of leaky gut i had moderate to severe stomach pain after i ate anything. Now trying to explain this to people can be difficult. I would often excuse myself to go use the bathroom and cry or i would dip out of hanging out with friends to go run home to use the bathroom. Not only were the reactions from eating either completely embarrassing and humiliating (running to use the bathroom as if you had just eaten bad food from a brazillian steak house...see Bridesmaids for more details on that one) or i would go home and legit clutch my stomach and cry because there was a war of epic proportions going on in there and there was nothing i could do to stop it. And believe me i would prefer neither to happen when i go on a date...or hang out with friends.. or in general eat anywhere that isn't in my hypodermic bubble called home.

Now i use the word sick to describe a variety of things that could happen to save my friends the gory details. Because honestly how many poop conversations can you have with your friends before they just get that that's what you meant?

Being my type of sick is no fun. It has made me miss out on opportunities to experience new things, having fun with my friends because i'm not sure what food will be available or if there will be an excess able bathroom, eating new cuisines because i have NOOO idea what is in it and we don't want an erupting volcano moment.

So when you look at someone with THAT face, try to not judge and make me feel like my issues aren't any less real because you can't see it. Try to understand and hugs heal a lot more than you would think.

HUGS