Update 7.21.13

Hey guys,

Sorry i've been SUPER lame and haven't posted anything in a while!

So basically this was a combination of being mad at myself for not hitting my projected goal on time and enjoying (a little too much) of the holiday festivities. I am all about the holidays that involve blowing things up, drinking, dressing up and having no stress and all fun. So 4th of July is right up there with Halloween and Cinco de Mayo in my book!

Well i am officially under 170 now which is AWESOMMEEEE. And if you are reading the number below then you see that this means that i am officially .8 pounds away from being 30 pounds down! So get ready for that obnoxious update post soon...

I can already tell i look better in the top photo than the bottom one but i ran out of apple cider vinegar (i use Bragg's and ran out then i tried stop and shop brand and that was a learning experience BIG NO NO) and had to go without it for a few days which unfortunately led to some bloating :/

So those are the two selfies i took and its seriously crazy how much of a pound difference makes.. And then the gem below was taken this morning. One of the good things about this whole process is that its been neat to see the small changes in my body through the pictures. And a bad thing is that i have become a selfie whore.. I can't help it and i swear i am not self obsessed its just cool to have pictures to look back on remember why i do everything i do.

Well on that note i will get better on updating and within the next few posts i want to share my favorite GF/Paleo/Auto Immune friendly snacks and treats!

Peace!

Balance

More and more i am realizing that there is a theme in my life. 

Balance. 

Its all about Balance. 

I find that this time of the year is when i struggle the most with finding a perfect middle in all aspects of my life. 

love

family

friends

work

education

health

happiness

I find the delicate scale tip to one extreme or another and i'm constantly trying to pick things up.

See that list? Rule of thumb pick two or three that will go great and the rest will go to shit.

Mark Twain once said 

"What is joy without sorrow? What is success without failure? What is a win without a loss? What is health without illness? You have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. There is always going to be suffering. It's how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you."

Or more simply put by the swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung: 

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

Changing who you learned to be is very difficult. Every night i reflect on my days events and wake up trying to be a better person, to do better things and to try and help others along the way. Trying to become a more conscientious, aware and understanding person takes a lot of work when you are raised by someone so selfish and arrogant. I just hope that i can use my life that was given to me to give back to others and to not judge while i'm here on earth but to help others who need it. 

Recently i have had to deal with events that have happened in my past. Probing through your experiences from the worst times of your life doesn't really put you in the best mindset and just really makes you think about how you live your life. It makes me think a lot about the time i have left and if i'm using my time wisely. 

A few weeks ago a dear friend of mine committed suicide. He was an extremely gifted and talented musician who suffered from schizoaffective disorders as well as bipolar disorder. His death has weighed heavy on my mind and is a constant reminder of how delicate and precious life is. Although i hadn't talked to him in the months before his passing i did consider him a good friend. It just reminds me that there are people suffering and battling wars in their lives that you may not see or even hear about until its too late. This serves to me as a reminder to keep the people who have been supportive and kind to me close in my life. Life is too short to worry about the what ifs or what should have beens. 

It has been a rough couple of months with constant set backs and loads of stress but things can always be worse and i am very grateful to be able to have another day above the ground. 

Be thankful for who you have in your life. 
Hug those who are close to you.
Say whats on your mind.
Spread love and forgiveness.

Just working through everything day by day. Hoping things get better.

June 25th Update

Hello everyone. So it looks as if i haven't really updated everyone on whats been going on for the past couple of weeks. It been crazy over here with all the weddings, graduations, birthday parties etc. 

So as the weather gets warmer this just means that it is the start of race season! My first (but certainly not last) mud race was the Ruckus run in Marshfield, Ma a few weeks ago. I did it with all my co-workers which was a ton of fun for everyone. This race is four miles long (the challenger) and has obstacles throughout. 

A super unflattering photo but i find it hilarious that i have daisies in my hair.. as you can tell i don't take these things too seriously...

I took some time to enjoy the nice weather and hang out by some pools.. (and that sushi in that container was awesommeeee. The sushi chef at Whole foods made me some rolls for myself without rice! Pretty sweet huh?)

Tequila lemonade and sushi poolside 

And then i spent some more time in a pool...

And somewhere in between there i remembered i needed to update my picture for bodybuilding.com and took this gem. 

June 21st, 2013 (174ish)

So as of a few days ago i weighed 173.8 which is pretty awesome. Although lately i've been getting frustrated that i'm not seeing as much progress as fast as i would like.. i do have to remind myself that this is all a process and that it takes time. And of course the universe sent me this gem so i can sit back and relax and see the progress take effect.

My goal is to be another 5 pounds down by the 4th of July or at the very least under 170 which would be the first time since high school. But if it were to mean that this is where i top out and that i'm healthy i would be totally happy. 

And sorry for the sort of lame post today i'm totally scatter brained!

Katie <3

Hot sweaty hot yoga

So with the diagnosis of Leaky Gut also comes with restrictions on types of exercise. Because i have an overactive adrenal gland i need to focus on more low-key exercise like yoga, walking and hiking. So it turns out that there is a yoga studio that does hot yoga near my house, so i figured i would give it a try tonight!

So being so SUPAH SMAHHT i decided to google some tips on things to do before/after or bring with me to the class. The interwebs people recommended that i bring a small towel, lots of water and to not eat before class.

"Power Vinyasa Yoga is a dynamic combination of strength, sweat and spirituality. It detoxifies, heals and electrifies. This accessible, challenging and flowing form of yoga will lead you to a state of transformation. It will sculpt, tone and hone the muscles of your body and your mind."

Well let me tell you something. I have seriously never sweat that much in my life.95 Degrees in a room with twenty other people. Literally sweat dripping off of my everything. And of course trusting the internet led me to some inconveniences.. Well next time i will bring a full size beach towel to go over my yoga mat. It was like a slip and slide except instead of landing in a nice pool at the end my foot would end up in some girl's face. No bueno. 

Mhhhmmm sweatyy

My instructor was really cool and we started off our 90 minute class with some breathing and light stretching then moving into some power vinyasa. Somewhere in between there we did some funky handstand things and then my favorite part was when we ended (but seriously) because we had a nice few minutes of meditating and laying down relaxed. The ending makes you forget all about that hour and half of slipping all over the mat, sweating your ass off...literally, and my personal favorite my clothes being soaked in sweat falling off of myself. So naturally i signed up for an unlimited month... :X

In the end i felt amazing after i left class.


And on another note i am officially under 175 and have lost 21 pounds! Stoked!!

Help me! I've been glutened and can't get up!

"I've been glutened"

For anyone living with celiac, gluten sensitivities or allergies i am pretty sure you are about to sit back and agree with everything i am about to say...

I have always had a love/hate relationship with any season that involves large family gatherings and parties because of my mucho complicated and ongoing issues with food. So naturally as we approach the end of spring and the beginning of summer it seems that my calendar is booked with graduation parties, weddings and baby showers every weekend.

So since this is the first year that i actually have a clue of what to avoid i feel a bit more prepared. As always friendly reminder ringing in the back of my head is constantly doing its job of showing me what horrors would happen if i eat any of my no-no foods.

Here's the usual set up: 

usually is a mis-mash of delicious looking and smelling "who-who-know-whats"in large pans with mystery sauces. And my even more favorite part of this whole event is the completely ignorant event staff or that uncle who has been grazing the table for the past hour and is telling you what everything is. Because we all know both are DEFINITELY reliable sources of information for those of us with allergies... NOT.

So i personally am yet to master the beast i call my hungry stomach and stick to what i know are more times than not safe foods.

Safe foods:

-Salad (usually dry with dressings on side)* Jackpot if the bottles are there to read!*

- I am still yet to find another solid option to put here... sometimes if you are lucky they will have burgers and other meats for the grill made to order. But for all my GFFs* you're out of luck :(

(GFF=gluten free fiends)

Iffy Foods:

-Potatoes. 

          I find that these are usually cooked in either butter or some sort of oil (vegetable/olive) with seasoning.            usually no obvious signs of wheat or gluten. I say this is IFFY because we all know gluten likes to surprise us sometimes..

DO NOT EAT:

-Chicken ... anything. Hidden in that sauce is only lord knows what.

- Any food with any sort of sauce.. 

So basically my best advice is to try to load up on goodies before you go somewhere with uncertain food choices. 

King Arthur GF cookie mix with Enjoy life non-dairy choco chips! Made by yours truly.

OR if possible bring a dish to share that is friendly to your dietary restrictions. I tend to always bring GF "chocolate chip" cookies because i LOVE LOVE LOVE chocolate. 

And then this brings me to my recent experience with these parties...

The past two graduation parties i got a little cocky and thought that since i asked what was in my mystery chicken dishes that that means that it was gospel knowledge at that point... Which as we have all learned the hard way is not true.

So i had to leave early those two times. Once because of some BBQ chicken deal (which in their defense was quite tasty until it settled) and some chicken in red sauce. 

And in case anyone wanted to know how i spent the rest of my afternoon...well i think you can get what happened there...

So lessons learned.

Don't get cocky

Stick to your safe foods (we all remember what happens if you don't..)

Bring appropriate back up food/snacks

Lastly in case you haven't seen this site yet: When i went gluten free Gifs

And yes we are all making those same faces as you are right now.

:)

Progress Photos!

So its now June and after hitting my 15 pound weight loss mark i thought it would be a good time to make some photos showing my progress.

So this top one was cool for me to see because i can remember how i felt before and after that picture at the beach was taken. I was close to being at my heaviest weight and i was feeling pretty confident in myself until i saw the photo after it was taken. I just remember feeling shamed about how i looked and hoped that no photos would end up online. Now the difference in attitude between then and now is incredible. Although i am still not where i would ideally like to be, i do think that the change is pretty cool to see. So below are a few more pictures with the weight and dates from the past couple months to see the changes.

And yes i did YOYO in my weight between these two pictures. I went to a graduation party and i got GLUTENED! And yes i gained like three pounds the day after i ate (even after double checking with catering that it was GF and wheat free) its sort of neat to see what physical things happen after. 

And Lastly the below photos are my most current. 

 To be honest i was hoping to be a lot skinnier and back to my "normal" weight by now before summer hit. But i know its unrealistic. I have Leaky Gut and the weightloss is just showing me that i'm getting healthier. Its not like other people loosing weight and i know i shouldn't compare myself to anyone else but its hard sometimes. I just hope that i can say by this time next year that i am happy, healthy and that i accept my body however it looks as long as i'm no longer sick!

What is means to be "Sick"

So i feel like i have gotten a lot of grief from my own family as well as other people when trying to explain my condition and my pain.

I want to emphasize that just because someone does not physically see my pain it does not make it any less real.

Now let me explain to you what it feels like when i eat bread. I would say if i were to eat that devilishly delicious piece of french baguette that comes with my meal at Panera. Within ten minutes i would be clutching my stomach, rolled up in a ball on the ground and most likely cursing out whoever is closest for letting me eat that. Its like period cramps on steroids (its on both the sides of my abdomen and not centralized) and comes in waves of pain while its oh so slowly being digested. mhmmm sounds like my kind of party right? Completely worth it...sometimes :/

For five years before my diagnosis of leaky gut i had moderate to severe stomach pain after i ate anything. Now trying to explain this to people can be difficult. I would often excuse myself to go use the bathroom and cry or i would dip out of hanging out with friends to go run home to use the bathroom. Not only were the reactions from eating either completely embarrassing and humiliating (running to use the bathroom as if you had just eaten bad food from a brazillian steak house...see Bridesmaids for more details on that one) or i would go home and legit clutch my stomach and cry because there was a war of epic proportions going on in there and there was nothing i could do to stop it. And believe me i would prefer neither to happen when i go on a date...or hang out with friends.. or in general eat anywhere that isn't in my hypodermic bubble called home.

Now i use the word sick to describe a variety of things that could happen to save my friends the gory details. Because honestly how many poop conversations can you have with your friends before they just get that that's what you meant?

Being my type of sick is no fun. It has made me miss out on opportunities to experience new things, having fun with my friends because i'm not sure what food will be available or if there will be an excess able bathroom, eating new cuisines because i have NOOO idea what is in it and we don't want an erupting volcano moment.

So when you look at someone with THAT face, try to not judge and make me feel like my issues aren't any less real because you can't see it. Try to understand and hugs heal a lot more than you would think.

HUGS