Balance

More and more i am realizing that there is a theme in my life. 

Balance. 

Its all about Balance. 

I find that this time of the year is when i struggle the most with finding a perfect middle in all aspects of my life. 

love

family

friends

work

education

health

happiness

I find the delicate scale tip to one extreme or another and i'm constantly trying to pick things up.

See that list? Rule of thumb pick two or three that will go great and the rest will go to shit.

Mark Twain once said 

"What is joy without sorrow? What is success without failure? What is a win without a loss? What is health without illness? You have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. There is always going to be suffering. It's how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you."

Or more simply put by the swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung: 

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

Changing who you learned to be is very difficult. Every night i reflect on my days events and wake up trying to be a better person, to do better things and to try and help others along the way. Trying to become a more conscientious, aware and understanding person takes a lot of work when you are raised by someone so selfish and arrogant. I just hope that i can use my life that was given to me to give back to others and to not judge while i'm here on earth but to help others who need it. 

Recently i have had to deal with events that have happened in my past. Probing through your experiences from the worst times of your life doesn't really put you in the best mindset and just really makes you think about how you live your life. It makes me think a lot about the time i have left and if i'm using my time wisely. 

A few weeks ago a dear friend of mine committed suicide. He was an extremely gifted and talented musician who suffered from schizoaffective disorders as well as bipolar disorder. His death has weighed heavy on my mind and is a constant reminder of how delicate and precious life is. Although i hadn't talked to him in the months before his passing i did consider him a good friend. It just reminds me that there are people suffering and battling wars in their lives that you may not see or even hear about until its too late. This serves to me as a reminder to keep the people who have been supportive and kind to me close in my life. Life is too short to worry about the what ifs or what should have beens. 

It has been a rough couple of months with constant set backs and loads of stress but things can always be worse and i am very grateful to be able to have another day above the ground. 

Be thankful for who you have in your life. 
Hug those who are close to you.
Say whats on your mind.
Spread love and forgiveness.

Just working through everything day by day. Hoping things get better.

June 25th Update

Hello everyone. So it looks as if i haven't really updated everyone on whats been going on for the past couple of weeks. It been crazy over here with all the weddings, graduations, birthday parties etc. 

So as the weather gets warmer this just means that it is the start of race season! My first (but certainly not last) mud race was the Ruckus run in Marshfield, Ma a few weeks ago. I did it with all my co-workers which was a ton of fun for everyone. This race is four miles long (the challenger) and has obstacles throughout. 

A super unflattering photo but i find it hilarious that i have daisies in my hair.. as you can tell i don't take these things too seriously...

I took some time to enjoy the nice weather and hang out by some pools.. (and that sushi in that container was awesommeeee. The sushi chef at Whole foods made me some rolls for myself without rice! Pretty sweet huh?)

Tequila lemonade and sushi poolside 

And then i spent some more time in a pool...

And somewhere in between there i remembered i needed to update my picture for bodybuilding.com and took this gem. 

June 21st, 2013 (174ish)

So as of a few days ago i weighed 173.8 which is pretty awesome. Although lately i've been getting frustrated that i'm not seeing as much progress as fast as i would like.. i do have to remind myself that this is all a process and that it takes time. And of course the universe sent me this gem so i can sit back and relax and see the progress take effect.

My goal is to be another 5 pounds down by the 4th of July or at the very least under 170 which would be the first time since high school. But if it were to mean that this is where i top out and that i'm healthy i would be totally happy. 

And sorry for the sort of lame post today i'm totally scatter brained!

Katie <3

Hot sweaty hot yoga

So with the diagnosis of Leaky Gut also comes with restrictions on types of exercise. Because i have an overactive adrenal gland i need to focus on more low-key exercise like yoga, walking and hiking. So it turns out that there is a yoga studio that does hot yoga near my house, so i figured i would give it a try tonight!

So being so SUPAH SMAHHT i decided to google some tips on things to do before/after or bring with me to the class. The interwebs people recommended that i bring a small towel, lots of water and to not eat before class.

"Power Vinyasa Yoga is a dynamic combination of strength, sweat and spirituality. It detoxifies, heals and electrifies. This accessible, challenging and flowing form of yoga will lead you to a state of transformation. It will sculpt, tone and hone the muscles of your body and your mind."

Well let me tell you something. I have seriously never sweat that much in my life.95 Degrees in a room with twenty other people. Literally sweat dripping off of my everything. And of course trusting the internet led me to some inconveniences.. Well next time i will bring a full size beach towel to go over my yoga mat. It was like a slip and slide except instead of landing in a nice pool at the end my foot would end up in some girl's face. No bueno. 

Mhhhmmm sweatyy

My instructor was really cool and we started off our 90 minute class with some breathing and light stretching then moving into some power vinyasa. Somewhere in between there we did some funky handstand things and then my favorite part was when we ended (but seriously) because we had a nice few minutes of meditating and laying down relaxed. The ending makes you forget all about that hour and half of slipping all over the mat, sweating your ass off...literally, and my personal favorite my clothes being soaked in sweat falling off of myself. So naturally i signed up for an unlimited month... :X

In the end i felt amazing after i left class.


And on another note i am officially under 175 and have lost 21 pounds! Stoked!!

Live and Learn

Recently i've been getting annoyed with the amount of things i need to do to keep myself in check so i thought that it would be a good idea to try living without my medication... bad idea. 

So as you may know my starting weight was 196 and i am currently at 177!! YAYYY

6/15/13

In case you aren't so hot at math that means i weight 19 pounds less since starting my new diet and medications. 

About two weeks ago after being fed up with having to tote around probiotics, digestive enzymes, glutamine pills and my apple cider vinegar i decided to quit cold turkey and see what would happen. I'm not going to lie it felt pretty nice to not have to take anything or worry about where or what i would be eating. I still kept to my diet and my low intensity exercising but  noticed some downsides. First off i will be the first to admit i do stupid things.. like this. But i learn quick and i learned that you shouldn't try to fix a system if it isn't broken. I immediately noticed that the number on the scale had stopped going down. Now i have been losing weight at .3-.6 pounds every three days so this was a tad bizarre. And so after being stuck at the lovely 178.4 for two weeks i had a talk with my naturopath (who i just so happened to have an already scheduled appointment with). After our little powwow i got home and started on the meds again because well.. it works. 

So here i am. Once again back on what seems to be an endless round a bout of meds and doctors appointment but at least a little bit lighter! Although i am happy about my weight loss thus far i am still upset that i am not making progress as fast as i had hoped. I believe anyone with a life long condition can understand how frustrating it can be to have to change so many parts of your life to live healthier. 

To be blunt. Its a whole lot of work to keep myself in a good place mentally/physically/emotionally. And sometimes its just hard to not let yourself be brought down by a lot of the disadvantages of dealing with such issues. The worrying and planning that goes into what should be a simple night out is simply exhausting at times. But keep your head up and remember you are doing your best. You are human you will make mistakes. 

And as long as you learn from your mistakes and are trying to make systems so its easier to live your life the way you need to to be healthy then thats all that matters.

Help me! I've been glutened and can't get up!

"I've been glutened"

For anyone living with celiac, gluten sensitivities or allergies i am pretty sure you are about to sit back and agree with everything i am about to say...

I have always had a love/hate relationship with any season that involves large family gatherings and parties because of my mucho complicated and ongoing issues with food. So naturally as we approach the end of spring and the beginning of summer it seems that my calendar is booked with graduation parties, weddings and baby showers every weekend.

So since this is the first year that i actually have a clue of what to avoid i feel a bit more prepared. As always friendly reminder ringing in the back of my head is constantly doing its job of showing me what horrors would happen if i eat any of my no-no foods.

Here's the usual set up: 

usually is a mis-mash of delicious looking and smelling "who-who-know-whats"in large pans with mystery sauces. And my even more favorite part of this whole event is the completely ignorant event staff or that uncle who has been grazing the table for the past hour and is telling you what everything is. Because we all know both are DEFINITELY reliable sources of information for those of us with allergies... NOT.

So i personally am yet to master the beast i call my hungry stomach and stick to what i know are more times than not safe foods.

Safe foods:

-Salad (usually dry with dressings on side)* Jackpot if the bottles are there to read!*

- I am still yet to find another solid option to put here... sometimes if you are lucky they will have burgers and other meats for the grill made to order. But for all my GFFs* you're out of luck :(

(GFF=gluten free fiends)

Iffy Foods:

-Potatoes. 

          I find that these are usually cooked in either butter or some sort of oil (vegetable/olive) with seasoning.            usually no obvious signs of wheat or gluten. I say this is IFFY because we all know gluten likes to surprise us sometimes..

DO NOT EAT:

-Chicken ... anything. Hidden in that sauce is only lord knows what.

- Any food with any sort of sauce.. 

So basically my best advice is to try to load up on goodies before you go somewhere with uncertain food choices. 

King Arthur GF cookie mix with Enjoy life non-dairy choco chips! Made by yours truly.

OR if possible bring a dish to share that is friendly to your dietary restrictions. I tend to always bring GF "chocolate chip" cookies because i LOVE LOVE LOVE chocolate. 

And then this brings me to my recent experience with these parties...

The past two graduation parties i got a little cocky and thought that since i asked what was in my mystery chicken dishes that that means that it was gospel knowledge at that point... Which as we have all learned the hard way is not true.

So i had to leave early those two times. Once because of some BBQ chicken deal (which in their defense was quite tasty until it settled) and some chicken in red sauce. 

And in case anyone wanted to know how i spent the rest of my afternoon...well i think you can get what happened there...

So lessons learned.

Don't get cocky

Stick to your safe foods (we all remember what happens if you don't..)

Bring appropriate back up food/snacks

Lastly in case you haven't seen this site yet: When i went gluten free Gifs

And yes we are all making those same faces as you are right now.

:)

live and die by the scale

So i've had a lot of people ask me about how often i weigh myself. If this were a normal circumstance of trying to lose weight and i was on (insert diet method here) and had no issues i would say any more than once a week is excessive.  In my particular case i use my weight as a health tool. I use it to track my body's response to foods, drinks or new exercises that i try to incorporate. I know that there are factors that determine your weight more than just body fat i.e.: when you last used the bathroom (1 & 2), what you recently ate, how much water you drank etc.

For me i personally go by the same rules for when i weigh myself. Right after i wake up in the morning i us the restroom and make sure that i am wearing light clothing (obviously if you are wearing a sweatshirt or other heavy clothing it will how on the scale) and then i step on the scale. I do this before eating or having any medications to try to get the most accurate reading.

Personally for a person having leaky gut i found this to be a helpful tool for incorporating new foods into my diet. I know that tomatoes and salsa aren't on my okay to eat foods list after having salsa one day. I found that i was bloated after i ate and the next day my weight went up half a pound. Although this is not the most scientific way of proving that i just know this method works for me.

If you have any questions feel free to email me at phillips.katie@live.com

:)

Progress Photos!

So its now June and after hitting my 15 pound weight loss mark i thought it would be a good time to make some photos showing my progress.

So this top one was cool for me to see because i can remember how i felt before and after that picture at the beach was taken. I was close to being at my heaviest weight and i was feeling pretty confident in myself until i saw the photo after it was taken. I just remember feeling shamed about how i looked and hoped that no photos would end up online. Now the difference in attitude between then and now is incredible. Although i am still not where i would ideally like to be, i do think that the change is pretty cool to see. So below are a few more pictures with the weight and dates from the past couple months to see the changes.

And yes i did YOYO in my weight between these two pictures. I went to a graduation party and i got GLUTENED! And yes i gained like three pounds the day after i ate (even after double checking with catering that it was GF and wheat free) its sort of neat to see what physical things happen after. 

And Lastly the below photos are my most current. 

 To be honest i was hoping to be a lot skinnier and back to my "normal" weight by now before summer hit. But i know its unrealistic. I have Leaky Gut and the weightloss is just showing me that i'm getting healthier. Its not like other people loosing weight and i know i shouldn't compare myself to anyone else but its hard sometimes. I just hope that i can say by this time next year that i am happy, healthy and that i accept my body however it looks as long as i'm no longer sick!