Balance

More and more i am realizing that there is a theme in my life. 

Balance. 

Its all about Balance. 

I find that this time of the year is when i struggle the most with finding a perfect middle in all aspects of my life. 

love

family

friends

work

education

health

happiness

I find the delicate scale tip to one extreme or another and i'm constantly trying to pick things up.

See that list? Rule of thumb pick two or three that will go great and the rest will go to shit.

Mark Twain once said 

"What is joy without sorrow? What is success without failure? What is a win without a loss? What is health without illness? You have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. There is always going to be suffering. It's how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you."

Or more simply put by the swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung: 

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

Changing who you learned to be is very difficult. Every night i reflect on my days events and wake up trying to be a better person, to do better things and to try and help others along the way. Trying to become a more conscientious, aware and understanding person takes a lot of work when you are raised by someone so selfish and arrogant. I just hope that i can use my life that was given to me to give back to others and to not judge while i'm here on earth but to help others who need it. 

Recently i have had to deal with events that have happened in my past. Probing through your experiences from the worst times of your life doesn't really put you in the best mindset and just really makes you think about how you live your life. It makes me think a lot about the time i have left and if i'm using my time wisely. 

A few weeks ago a dear friend of mine committed suicide. He was an extremely gifted and talented musician who suffered from schizoaffective disorders as well as bipolar disorder. His death has weighed heavy on my mind and is a constant reminder of how delicate and precious life is. Although i hadn't talked to him in the months before his passing i did consider him a good friend. It just reminds me that there are people suffering and battling wars in their lives that you may not see or even hear about until its too late. This serves to me as a reminder to keep the people who have been supportive and kind to me close in my life. Life is too short to worry about the what ifs or what should have beens. 

It has been a rough couple of months with constant set backs and loads of stress but things can always be worse and i am very grateful to be able to have another day above the ground. 

Be thankful for who you have in your life. 
Hug those who are close to you.
Say whats on your mind.
Spread love and forgiveness.

Just working through everything day by day. Hoping things get better.