4.14.14

HELLO LYMIES!

So many things have happened since we last spoke. err well from when i spoke and you read haha. 

So BIG things have happened

I moved!! Little girl in the big city, well its not Boston but its fifteen minutes away and super close to work which is amazing. As many people battling auto immune disorders understand all the extra rest time you can have is a total godsend. My place is beautiful and i'm finally starting to really get settled and explore the area and really call this my "home". I share it with three other people that are rarely home which means i get a humungooo gorgeous kitchen all to myself! Not to mention there is a totally gluten free health store down the street that makes fresh juices! Can you say amen?

I honestly can't remember what was in this but it was delicious.

I started working weekends for an online company telecommuting. Which means i'm working a lot more now.. aka why i haven't written anything in a while. Nothing really crazy to report here.. you know work is work. 

I met with a nutritionist. Her name is Juliane and she was amaze balls. The only downer to her being so awesome was the new dietary restrictions i was given.. No dairy (duh), no gluten (double duh), no dried fruits or fruit juices and NO SUGAR. Now having lived more than half my life learning to not become attached to foods because i know in some way or form things always seem to be "bad" for me.. no matter the actual nutritional value. So when i heard i had to stay away from sugar i really wasn't concerned. 

Gluten free oats, frozen mixed berries heated up, walnuts and banana.. my now go to breakfast!

This was the book i was told to get by Juliane, yet to read it all the way through since i got it today but i'm excited for this change! Fuel your body not the disease.

HOLY HERX! I don't know how to emphasize this more. Starting on the 4th i stayed away from sugar. After 24 hours i had a severe migraine, and here is little naive old me thinking this was how it was going to be for a few days. Now let me reiterate.. when you have lyme disease nothing is ever "that simple". Three or so days go by then i notice my stomach is getting super sensitive. I then start alternating in between a low and high fever for another week, i then loose my voice, stomach is having pains and my body pains start worsening. Now mind you i totally doofed up and forgot to check the lunar calendar, because behold the full moon we had. In case you didn't know full moons somehow tend to make my pain and symptoms more aggressive and worse. So here i am a solid ten days after my last piece of sugar (sort of.. i cheated and had a SMALL piece of chocolate and lordy did i pay for it) and finally starting to get over the fevers and throat things. 

Oh and how did i almost forget.. I got the okay to drink again! THANK YOU UNIVERSE. So i had some clear rum and tequila the other night with total success! Well partially.. i apparently lost my tolerance and became a lightweight.. and my wallet is okay with that! haha.

Me and the boyfriend out in Beantown :)

I started working at my work's apothecary part time, four hours doing my normal desk job and four hours down in there. I honestly love it because it breaks the day up, not to mention since i've been on more than half of the things in stock its a good learning experience. 

I finally have been feeling well enough to start really moving around. I got so serious i even re-instated my gym membership! I am yet to go since this all happened today but i will start back slow soon which i'm super excited for.

Its been so nice being so close to so many friends and new activities out here i even got to go bouldering the other day! I plan to try as many new activities as my body will allow now being close to the city. Not to mention its fantastic to be able to go out and not worry about an hour plus ride home!!

A few weeks ago when things were pretty terrible i received this in the mail:

This was an awesome reminder that you are not alone and there are others in the same place you are all over the world. Be good to another and be kind.

Here's wishing well to my fellow fighters. Keep on trying it'll pay off. Here are some little words to live by to help keep your mind in a good place!

<3 Namaste lovies! ॐ

3.23.14

So you may have noticed that over the past few posts things have been far and few in between. Now this took a lot of serious thought writing this post and for the past month or so my thoughts really went to a dark place that i know so many others with chronic illnesses sadly understand so well. Lately i have been going through some major and much needed changes in my outlook on life, my path, lyme disease and how my actions affect others. 

I have recently become super fed up with the fact that my body constantly fails me. After an incident shortly after my last post, i decided that it was time to start back at light exercise. My knees, hips, wrists, shoulders and fingers have all become increasingly weak and have been causing me much pain. There was a period of time where i was literally collapsing because my knees were too weak to hold me up.  After a few really embarrassing stints of this i decided it was time to try something new. 

I decided to start back up with practicing yoga. I always loved yoga and was religious about my practice for a few years prior to when i started to get really sick. Now keep in mind i have not really worked out in about half a year and i haven't gained any weight either (thank god), so transitioning back has been quite the progress. I started with one hot 90 minute vinyasa flow class a week, modifying almost every pose because my wrists were so weak they felt like they would snap. To now being able to complete a whole 50 minute strala yoga dvd. The progress is slow and small but never the less progress. I notice the immediate effects on my mental state after yoga. I immediately feel more grounded and at peace. I feel less like i am thrown into chaos but more as a buoy bobbing with the incoming waves, floating yet still in control, anchored to the sea floor. 

I have since also stopped seeing my practitioner in Rhode Island. I wasn't feeling much of a benefit from treatment and just felt worse and worse. Although i can't say i feel incredibly better i can say that i feel like things are for the most part a bit more livable. Now whether or not this was a dumb decision i don't know right now, but only time will tell. 

At the end of April i have scheduled an appointment with a LLMD who actually is a doctor in my building at work. I decided that its about time i try to see how a physician who relies on antibiotics and combats the symptoms with supplements, IV therapy (vitamin infusions), and other alternative treatments like cranio-sacral work, massage, acupuncture etc. I truly do feel so very fortunate to be working in a facility that i am able to have access to all of these things in the same building, and get an employee discount on services making everything more affordable.

Although i still do not physical feel any better than i have in the past, i feel that focusing on the positives has helped me move on a little. I still sleep all the time, sadly through weekends and plans with friends, still feel all the pain that i have all along and i feel as if this will not change for a long time. 

All in all a few other big things have happened and has truly made me question a lot of decisions i have made. I in the past have put my health on the back burner to participate in things that in turn made me worse (i.e. new year's drinking… oh hell no). Trying to pretend like i am still capable of being the same person i was, doing the things i use to do. I am no longer that person. I feel i have grown to be a much more mature woman, who understands when to say no and realize its okay to be selfish to be more healthy. At the end of the day  realized what are healthy decisions for my soul, my body, my heart, my emotions. I now wake up every day thankful for the things i have in my life, thankful for what health i do have, and welcoming new opportunities to learn, grow and evolve to be the person i am meant to become.

After some long thought and soul searching i finally feel more peace than ever. With some much needed closure with some negative people in my life and the addition of some amazing positive light, i feel as if i am ready to take on whatever comes my way with grace and peace. 

Think of your decisions and ask yourself is this nourishing you or feeding into disease?

<3